Many parents speak to their kids about all sorts of topics, but somehow, when it comes to money, open conversation flies out the window. Maybe it’s because it feels too “adult,” or we don’t feel fully comfortable with finances ourselves. But for our kids, our silence speaks volumes.
They won’t leave money a mystery. Kids are observant and will learn about finances on their own, whether it’s from friends, ads, or even teachers. Without meaning to, they may pick up attitudes such as ‘money is scary,’ or ‘more money makes you a better person,’ and so on. In addition, they may not feel comfortable discussing finances with you in the future, simply because you’ve never brought it up before. The way to preempt those unhealthy attitudes is to start talking about money openly.
How to open healthy financial conversations
You don’t have to be a financial whiz to teach your kids about money. Nor do you have to (or should!) tell your kids what you can and can’t afford. It’s not their job to worry about your finances, and it’s best to keep those things private.
The goal is to show them that money isn’t a scary thing we speak about behind closed doors, nor does it grow on trees. Money is a limited resource and an integral part of life that can be managed calmly and responsibly.
Normalize money talk
Once you’ve decided to open the conversation, the next step is to make it a part of your day-to-day life. Talk about money while you’re in the store, paying bills, or even at the supper table. Discussing which ketchup is the best value while you’re with the kids in the supermarket can be a great way to make money talk the new norm. Just keep the tone neutral. We all have emotions associated with money that we may not want to pass down to our kids.
Give them a taste of financial independence
Next, give them controlled opportunities to manage their own money. Keep it simple, like setting a small budget for Shabbos treats and letting them choose what to get. Or, try giving them a budget for their birthday gift and allowing them to make their own decision on what to spend the money on. They’ll learn that money is limited and it’s our responsibility to manage it wisely.
Let them make mistakes
They’ll inevitably make mistakes, whether it’s spending all their money on an item they’ll later regret or being upset that their birthday money ran out too fast. Don’t criticize or give in to their demands. Let them feel the natural disappointment of their choices—it’s a normal and valuable part of learning. It’s better for them to make those small mistakes now than later, when a poor decision could damage their credit score.
Raising financially responsible adults
Opening financial conversations with your kids is one of the best ways to raise financially responsible adults. When money is no longer taboo, our kids will be able to learn good money habits and feel comfortable consulting us about money topics as they grow. This will enable them to build the secure financial future that we want for them.
